Don't Say "No!"

I recently got a question from a student of mine asking me how I feel about using the word “No!” to correct dogs. So I dug into the archives (yes, I have archives, tons of them), and found these two stories that, I think, explain my position on “No!” pretty well. Just to be clear, though, I sometimes refer to “No!” as the “N word” of dog training.

So don't use it! Below, you’ll find two of my reasons why...

Ahhh, that's more like it...

“Do You Know How Much Energy That Would Take?”

Mack, a Jack Russell terrier, used to go nuts whenever the phone rang, barking and running around, basically driving his owner crazy.

Mack’s owner — who was going through a difficult divorce — thought the best way to solve the problem was to correct the dog, shouting, “No, Mack! Quiet!” over and over until he finally stopped. Stopped, that is, until the next time the phone rang. (Mack was no dummy; he’d picked up on what was going on his owner’s life and knew that when the phone rang it usually meant that she was about to go into a deep funk, and would be talking on the phone for hours, either with her attorney, her friends, or her soon-to-be ex-husband.)

Some trainers might have suggested putting Mack in an extended down/stay. Others might have told her to keep his leash on and make a good hard leash correction whenever the phone rang, or to use a shake can to scare him; all designed to correct the behavior through fear and dominance. Positive trainers would probably have recommended giving Mack a “time out," or using a “replacement behavior” like hand targeting. With some dogs these methods may have been temporarily effective, just as yelling at him had been (sort of). But their only lasting effects would have been putting the owner in conflict with her dog. And, over time, guess who usually wins those conflicts?

To me, the fact that Mack showed so much energy when the phone rang was a goodthing. My goal was to use that energy to create an almost Pavlovian response: the ringing phone would be a signal for Mack to find a toy, take it to his crate, and chew on it happily while his owner took her call. (She’d already taught Mack that when he wants to chew something he has to do it inside his crate.)

So I told the owner that every time the phone rang, instead of correcting him by yelling “No!” or “Quiet!” she should jump up off the couch and praise him very enthusiastically, then grab one of his toys, tease him with it, and run away, encouraging him to chase her.

Once his energy was fully focused on the toy, and not the phone, she could give him the toy, tell him to take it to his crate. Then she could finally sit down and take her call.

Of course she thought I was nuts. “Do you know how much energy that would take?”

I reminded her that she’d been expending a lot more energy saying “No!” without getting the results she wanted, and promised her that if she followed my instructions to the letter, Mack would stop barking at the phone in a matter of two weeks.

“But I shouldn’t praise him for barking, should I? I mean, isn’t that only going to reinforce the bad behavior?”

“In this case we’re using praise to make Mack feel emotionally connected to you. That way you’ll be able to change his emotional state from resistance into a willingness to obey. You can’t very well create that kind of emotional state by yelling at him.”

You see, every time Mack's owner corrected him she put herself in conflict with his feelings, forcing him to either keep barking at her until she was in tune with what he was already feeling or to give up. And Jack Russells are not bred to give up. By praising him she would be able to remove the conflict and open the flow. Then and only then could Mack feel that they shared a common purpose and begin to look to her for a signal as to what to do next.

She reluctantly did as I suggested, thinking I was completely insane the whole time, and guess what? She didn’t even need to do the exercise for two weeks. With just three days of acting like a complete idiot, she was able to create such a dramatic change in Mack’s behavior that she was able to stop doing the exercise completely. Whenever the phone rang Mack would bark briefly, but as soon as his owner told him to find a toy, and he’d do so, take it into his crate, and chew away on it, thinking the whole thing was his idea all along.

It’s Simple, But That Doesn’t Mean It’s Easy

A year or so later I got a phone call from a recently-divorced young cinematographer whose three year-old cocker spaniel, Roxie, was biting him. He told me that the dog had been a biter as puppy, but that she’d been severely punished for it and that the biting had since been kept under control. Now that the couple had split up and the wife was moving out, the dog’s aggressive behavior had re-surfaced, with a vengeance.

He explained that if he or anyone else went anywhere near Roxy’s crate or dinner bowl she would become violently aggressive. And the more he tried to correct her — as he’d done so successfully in the past — the worse her behavior got.

Finally, he called me and asked if I could help him. I came over to his apartment to see what I could do.

Roxy, a buff cocker, seemed fairly calm and friendly when I first came in, perhaps even a little shy. She wagged her tail but kept her head and shoulders tilted down slightly. When I reached down to pet her, she started to roll over on her back.

We went into the living room and sat on the couch, with the dog lying between us.

“When Roxy was a puppy, would you say your wife spoiled her?”

He said she’d done just that; giving her too much attention, letting her have her own way because she was so cute.

“And you were the disciplinarian?”

He nodded and said that was also true.

“Spanking her, saying no, that sort of thing?”

He nodded. “You have to show the dog who’s boss.”

I explained to him the new trends in thinking — that there really is no such thing as an alpha dog or pack leader. I also explained that when a puppy is spoiled — made to feel that she’s always the center of attention — it can make a lasting impression on her behavior. This is particularly harmful if another member of the household acts tough with the dog. Later, when her puppy antics have become bad habits (and particularly if she was also scolded and punished for those antics instead of being taught how to behave properly), she’ll be stressed out. Her behavior will seem to be under control for months, even years. But any sudden change in the household will throw her into a panic and the old behavior will not only re-surface, but get worse.

“I don’t know,” he seemed unconvinced. “Another trainer told us it was because she was trying to be alpha.”

Roxy was lying on her back, asking for a tummy rub. “Look at her,” I said. “This is not a dominant dog. In my experience, most dogs who bite their owners have what we — in the old way of thinking — would have called a submissive, not dominant type of temperament.”

Then I asked if Roxy had any favorite toys or games.

He said she loved to play fetch with a tennis ball.

“Perfect,” I said. “Is she possessive about the ball?”

He said she wasn’t. She like to chase it and bring it back.

“Good girl,” I said. “Okay, then let’s get started.”

I asked him to do whatever it took to get Roxy to exhibit the aggressive behavior. He said all he had to do was touch her crate, but he was extremely reluctant to do it. “Once she gets into this mood it may be hours before she finally gets out of it.”

I told him not to worry and he went to the kitchen and touched the crate. Roxy instantly leapt off the couch and charged into the kitchen; snarling and growling. She was Cujo!

I told Roxy’s owner to walk slowly back to the living room and he did.

Then I went into the kitchen, holding a tennis ball in my hand.

I didn’t say “No!” or try to intimidate or dominate Roxy. I simply bounced the tennis ball on the floor. She stopped growling for a moment and looked at me, puzzled. Then I laughed in a giddy, absurdly happy fashion. “Whee-hee!” I cried then bounced the tennis ball again, praised her loudly, and ran away, inviting her to chase me and the ball.

Two seconds later I was sitting on the couch with a totally different dog next to me. She was happily chewing on her tennis ball while I rubbed her tummy. We were the best of friends.

Her owner was amazed. “Explain what just happened!”

“Well,” I said, “instead of reacting to Roxy with fear or aggression I did something which I knew from past experience would create a different emotional shift in her. Once I got her to switch gears emotionally, her behavior changed as well.

“It’s that simple?”

“Well, yes and no. It’s simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Why don’t you give it a shot and see what happens?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “When she gets like that I have trouble not losing my temper.”

“You can’t let her drag you into her movie. What you need to do is stay positive or neutral. She’s acting like it’s life and death, like she’s battling The Terminator, and we need her to feel like she’s in a buddy movie.

I convinced him to try the game.

He did and got the same results I had. Roxy was a completely different dog almost immediately, just from bouncing the tennis ball, laughing loudly, acting silly and running away.

“This is amazing,” he said. “Who knew it could be this easy?”

“No, it’s simple. It’s not easy. There’s a difference. Plus it won’t fix things immediately.”

I went on to explain. “She’s had three years of certain patterns and expectations so it will probably take at least three months for her to let go of them. Just realize that guarding her crate like that is a very unpleasant feeling. Saying no actually reinforces that feeling and makes it stronger. Praising her and getting her to chase you and sink her teeth into the ball creates a positive, group mood, and releases all that negative energy. The more you can help her to switch gears like this, from a survival mood to a group play mood, the more likely it is that she’ll choose not to guard her crate.”

Here we have two situations where the problem was solved not by saying “No” or using behavioral science techniques like de-sensitization, etc., but by stimulating the dog’s need to chase things and bite them as part of a group dynamic.

Understanding the dog's underlying emotional state — along with replacing the "N" word with a happy, playful voice and attitude — was the key to resolving both situations.

However ... I need to make the following disclaimer very clear. These situations were solved fairly easily because a) I was there, controlling the emotional tone for the owners and the dogs, and b) both dogs were raised from puppies, by their owners.

DISCLAIMER: I would be very reluctant to use these techniques with some shelter dogs, particularly those who have spent time living on the streets and who, therefore, may not have the same social impulses or ability to detect playfulness that is second nature to most pet dogs. I do not recommend activating the prey drive in such dogs, except under the direct supervision of a seasoned professional.

LCK