Bring back the Treats Campaign Report #3

1. Being nice did not work. It was also a depressing endeavour when there was so little reciprocation.

2. Standing on the dining room table, digging up the flower beds and being sick on the carpet four times at mum's parents house was not particularly successful either. Haven't quite figured out why yet as these seemed to be excellent attention grabbing exercises.

3. I suspect Dylan has gone behind my back, broken the treat campaign picket lines and discovered a method of extracting treats which he has not shared. Twice this week he has smelt distinctly of salt and vinegar which means only one thing. Crisps! While it is possible these came from customers, Mum has them so well trained these days they don't dare feed us. So, I have only one conclusion. Mum has fed that Whippet without me. My heart hardens.

4. Future plans are still hazy. My genius plan of taking food off the baby has had to be cancelled as this seems a very unpopular approach. I can't even suck my cheeks in and look too thin as I have a shaggy coat right now and that hides my diminutive figure.

Ideas on a postcard?